THE natural disposition of the average Arsenal fan is rather nervous and pessimistic, thoughts jangling about how the worst will probably happen. You can feel the catastrophising Hornbyism in the air after about 15 minutes at the Emirates Stadium if the Gunners haven’t scored.

Spurs, in contrast, often appear upbeat – always with a feeling that they’re going to do it. This is what must explain the bravura performance of their stadium announcer, found riffing about Arsenal being “nervous as hell” and Tottenham being bang up for it ahead of the North London derby mismatch on Sunday.

Everything he predicted in this roaring introduction didn’t happen, but there’s always next season*.

Amid this brief period of heady anticipation, the home crowd diligently held up the right colour cards to remind the visitors that they had been in north London since 1882 – another mark of a bizarre obsession which needs unpicking.

In some ways, the scorelines seem to matter less to them than the yellowing contours of an Edwardian map of London, which show that Arsenal began life in Woolwich, south London. It is now 113 years since Arsenal’s house move and it’s not for me to say they should be over it by now, but they should be over it by now. If there are any 113-year-olds reading this, I apologise if you were there and were drawing breath when it happened – and it ruined bath time.

You must bear the scars of having the true awfulness of another football team moving into the area. It’s just a little strange that your TikToking descendants of 2026 have inherited the grievance like a family heirloom.

Yes, folks, Spurs were here first. Moustachioed snuffbox-sniffers in stiff collars no doubt talked of little else in the back of their horse-drawn cabs when Arsenal relocated in 1913.

But the more the fans of today chunter on about Woolwich, the more it becomes a grand self-own. Because, let’s get this straight: they had a 30-year head start to make north London their own. It was all there for them; no choice of teams, just Spurs. And yet somehow these red newcomers were allowed to come in, establish a hefty fanbase from presumably thin air, and spend the next century and a bit winning more things.

That’s a scenario that you might have thought would be swept under the carpet rather than form the basis of a tifo.

*Facts correct at the time of going to press and before this year’s relegation places have been decided.